I was recently interviewed for an article in The Sydney Morning Herald’s Daily life section on self marriage – or sologamy, as it’s come to be know.
Personally, I think the idea of self marriage is ridiculous. Legally, you can’t enter into a partnership with yourself. And, to me, the real issue with marriage in Australia is that many couples are being denied the right to legally marry because they’re in a same sex relationship.
What do you think?
You can read the full article below or by clicking the title;
‘Marrying yourself’ isn’t a joke, for some, it’s actually quite sacred’
Evelyn Lewin
As couples around the country shower each other with chocolates and roses this Valentine’s Day, Emmajane Love will be preparing for her own wedding. The 33-year-old love coach from Queensland will put on her brightly coloured wedding dress, before heading to the beach for her afternoon ceremony. When she arrives there, Love will be alone with the person she intends to marry: herself.
This wasn’t always Love’s plan.
After a string of unsuccessful relationships, where she felt she “gave her power away” and put her partner’s needs before her own, Love started working on her relationship with herself.
“At the end of last year I felt like I wanted some spiritual practice, some ceremony, where I honoured myself. So I decided, ‘Why don’t I marry myself?'”
During her wedding ceremony, Love will read her vows to herself while looking into a mirror.
Those vows are based on things she wishes other people would have promised her. They’re about treating herself with respect; accepting and encouraging herself; comforting and looking after herself when needed.
Same-self marriage – or sologamy, as it’s also known – has been trickling into the public conscience for quite some time.
In 1993, the LA Times detailed Linda Baker’s wedding to herself. Unlike Love’s low-key nuptials, the 40-year-old opted for a white wedding dress and married herself in front of 75 guests, with seven doting bridesmaids by her side.
Then, in a 2003 episode of Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw left a phone message for a friend saying she was planning on marrying herself (albeit in a bid to secure some Manolo Blahniks). In 2010, Glee jumped on board, when character Sue Sylvester married herself.
While these fictionalised versions of same-self marriage drew attention to its existence, they arguably made light of what proponents consider a sacred act. That act is commonly misunderstood, laments American celebrant Dominique Youkhehpaz, founder of Self Marriage Ceremonies.
She says many consider the idea “crazy”, “selfish” or “ridiculous”. But, she says, those who criticise it simply don’t understand it.
“… It’s the most selfless thing a person can do – to commit to first know love within themselves, so they can more fully give love.